Books by Rose Lamatt
Just a Word: Friends Encounter Alzheimer's
Description
Today is the first day that Rose has had the desire to write. She’s thought about it for months, even years, but this is the first time she feels the need. She wants to write of the struggle she's going through with this horrific disease called Alzheimer’s. She wants to write how the caregiver loses herself along with the victim. Victim—it’s the first she’s used this word. But there is no other that best describes it. Carol, Rose’s friend, is a victim of time.
Excerpt
Monday morning I run down to the motel’s continental breakfast, bringing back cereal, bananas, and coffee. Just finishing coffee, the phone rings. I look at Carol, then pick up the receiver.
“Hello?”
“Good morning. How are you this morning?” Dr. Greenberg asks.
“Fine, thank you.” I’d been waiting for this call. We both had been waiting, but not mentioned in words. I’m sure it’s nothing, maybe a gland problem they haven’t found yet, or a blood disorder not picked up. In New York, we had the best doctor’s and hospitals. I was sure someone would find what was wrong with her, and finally asked, “Do you have any news for us?”
He goes into a long explanation of Carol’s PET scan and the other test. Some I understand, most I don’t.
“I’m sorry to tell you Rose, Carol has a dementia disease known as Alzheimer’s.”
I heard him, yet not. I ask him to repeat it. Again, I hear the word, Alzheimer’s. I stand from my safe sitting spot on the bed. I can’t say anything and want him to take back the ‘word’.
I’m unable to say anything while he finishes telling me his findings. “Thank you,” I say and hang up.
Thank you? Thank you for what? You don’t thank someone for this word. You thank someone when they say God bless you, after you sneeze, or when they give you a gift. This wasn’t a sneeze or a gift. There wasn’t anything to say Thank you for?
Carol, reading by the window, looks at me.
“Who was it?”
I can’t answer.
“Was it the doctor?”
I hear, but don’t know what to say. I need to get my thoughts in order.
Alzheimer’s? How? Why? Where did she get it? How bad is it?
Again, as in a distance she asks, “What is it?”
“Oh, it’s nothing.” How do I tell her when I don’t believe it. How do I do this? There were no lessons in school on this. How do you tell someone they’re ill, or possibly going to die? Who knows what will happen? We never used this word. We didn’t know anyone who had this word. After a few minutes I put my words together, “Yes, that was the doctor.”
“Well, what did he say?”
I look at her, feeling pity—no, sorrow—no, nothing. I’m numb, in shock. Like a robot, I speak, “The doctor says you have Alzheimer’s disease.”
She stares at me for what seems a long time. Then her eyes go wide, and then she closes them. Her mouth forms an O as she throws back her head, ‘Oh, my God…No!’ Her hands cover her face and she leans forward, her body shakes with hard sobs. I go to her, kneel on the floor and hold her.
“Oh God,” she cries. And my heart cries along with her. “I’ll need to go into a nursing home,” she says.
“No—no, you won’t. We’ll go through this together. I promise. Maybe they’re wrong, maybe they made a mistake.” I cry with her, letting her know we will go through this together.
Somewhere tucked in my heart, I know the love between us is stronger than any illness. That alone will cure her. I know YOU will hear our cries, dear Lord.
In bed I pull the cover up around us, and hold her for a long time. The phone rings. I pick it up.
“Hello, Rose? I just got off the phone with Dr. Greenberg. I’m sorry to hear about Carol. If there’s anything I can do, please call me.” Dr. Ban from Florida.
I thank him for calling and say we’ll be home in a few days, no more comes out of me.
I decide to call Mom, telling her I have one of my migraines, and we’ll see her tomorrow. I don’t mention the word Alzheimer’s. For the rest of the day we stay in our room, sending out for dinner. The day is lost, like us.
The next two days I tell family and some friends the news. For them, like us, it’s hard to believe and soon we’re headed south on a train. We stay in our compartment playing gin rummy or staring out a window, not believing the new word Alzheimer’s.
Order Just a Word at Amazon.com
Book information:
Paperback: 180 pages
Publisher: CreateSpace (February 9, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1440475172
ISBN-13: 978-1440475177
Don’t Look Forward: God is Leading (A Memoir)
Description
She struggled writing, not knowing who the real person was. Was she the child of her mother and father or the wife to her husband? Was she the mother of her children? Was she an unforgiving person, or loving person? Was she the person full of fear that she knew so well, or was she all the above? Questions poked at her, as she sat rereading her words, sentences, and paragraphs. Who was she really?
Excerpt
While eating the grilled cheese sandwich I’d made, I heard a knock on the front door. Opening it I saw Ed, Marc’s friend, who lived five houses up the street. I told him Marc hadn’t come home yet from school and asked if he would like a grilled cheese sandwich. To my surprise, he said yes. He sat on the over stuffed, green velvet chair while I made another sandwich, then joined him in the living room. I sat on the maroon velvet couch, thinking how cute he looked in his Navy whites. How did anyone press those things? Thinking what a time I had pressing Marc’s shirts and pants. Ed’s shoes were so shiny, you could see your face in them. They were slicker than my patent leather heels.
He broke my train of thought when he asked if I’d put on weight. “No,” I said. But knew I had. I didn’t like the new extra pounds around my waist and elsewhere. I wore skintight clothing like the rest of my friends. It was the ‘in thing’ to do. I couldn’t be different. I liked fitting in with the group.
I asked if he’d heard the new singing groups. He said, ‘no’, he’d been away, overseas on duty, and needed to catch up with what was going on. We talked awhile longer, or I talked, while he sat quiet, except for asking me about my weight. He thanked me for the sandwich, and to tell Marc he’d meet him at their usual spot tonight. I knew which spot, the white bar in town.
I never thought of being prejudice growing up in a colored-white neighborhood. I had colored friends, girls and boys, but they were never allowed in our house. In fourth grade, Billy, a colored boy, let me take his gun and holster set home. I wore it until I reached the front door then stuck it under my jacket. Billy came knocking right before dinner, saying he wanted his gun and holster. His Dad was mad for lending them out. I saw tears in his eyes. I ran for them, knowing my parents would be mad if they knew Billy was here.
Colored people had certain places in town where they met, the church three streets over that I wanted to go to, because the singing I heard coming out of those open doors was great. They also hung out closer to the racetrack, where most worked. I just never thought of prejudices in our small town. After all, we were allowed to listen to Amos and Andy and Jack Benny’s man, Rochester, and thought the rest of the world lived like them.
I watched Ed walk to his new red and white convertible, thinking how handsome he was in tight whites and short hair. He’d gotten taller and broader in the shoulders since I’d last seen him ten months ago. Then thought, you’ve gotten broader too, in the wrong places. I’d have to do something about it.
Reviews
“A Fearless Story, This heart-gripping story will capture your attention from beginning to end”—Larry J.
“Tugged at my heartstrings, Sometimes when we feel that we are drowning with all that life throws at us, we find our finest selves”—Joanne N.
“Tender, insightful, hard to put down, A touching memoir of a very humane woman who searched for over twenty years to find reasons for her many fears and the true essence of her inner self”—Charlie Hall
“Love overcomes fear, This is a deeply moving portrayal of one woman's journey beyond the fears that plagued her”—Darlene B.
“Heartening, Heartfelt and Deeply thought provoking— Awindow to a child's world only known by those with similar fears”—Carole
“It definitely will appeal to all readers who enjoy true-life stories about challenge and growth. I have to admit...it may bring up tears”—Kaye Trout, Midwest book review.
“Rose Lamatt invites us into her very complex life with a true sense of reality and warmth”—Kay
Order Don't Look Forward at Amazon.com
Book information:
Paperback: 334 pages
Publisher: BookSurge Publishing (December 17, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 143921607X
ISBN-13: 978-1439216071
